What I love about this blogging thing is that it helps bring clarity to my crazy ass thoughts. What I find odd is that I can somehow press publish and I don’t give a rats ass who in the free world reads the inner most workings of my mind and it musings. I hope y’all packed a lunch… this may not be rated T for teens.
I’ve been rocking along pretty unscathed from this online dating experience until recently. Have had some decent conversations that have gone nowhere. Have been on some good and bad dates. Have chalked all of it up to life experience. When I started all of this I knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship of any kind anyway so maybe I began this whole deal under false pretenses. However, I have been completely honest but less than open and very guarded for sure. I’m not completely sure that I am ready for one now, but I know I am open to the possibility and I know my worth and some of this nonsense is selling myself way short.
Let me explain and I’m gonna try not to go on a ranting tirade, which is what this blog would have been had I wrote it last night cuz I was fed smooth up. I was forewarned before I started about lewd behavior from the male species. But honestly, it hadn’t happened. About a 6 weeks in, a guy on Tinder sent me a message that said “send nudes” and called me a prude and all kinds of idiotic garbage cuz I denied his request. Unmatch became my friend.
POF has taken the cake with unwarranted messages from let’s just call them undesirables. I mean let’s face it peeps, we all have people we are attracted to and not. Types and such. On Bumble or Tinder there is the swipe function where you match someone mutually, on POF that is not the case. Anyone can send you a message and some get quite pissed off when you don’t respond. But if you are 20 years older than me, 400lbs, drink daily, use drugs, have nothing on your bio, and your opening line is “you’re smoking hot” I ain’t got time for that shit. I delete and move on. That’s all good and fine… just the nature of the beast I guess. However…
Not my problem as of late… here’s my issue: so yeah we start talking because I have found you attractive and your bio seems not to be that of a serial killer or a dead beat. And yeah I get it, I didn’t hit every branch of the ugly tree on the way to the ground. But please for the love of all that is holy and just DONT:
1. Ask me if I want to be FWB… we aren’t friends!!! We aren’t even acquainted. In fact, I don’t even fucking know who you are. So the answer is not No but Hell No!!!
2. Start calling me baby, honey and sweetie all the while telling me what you think you can do for me. I don’t need you to do a damn thing for me, in the least. Not even close to why I am on these stupid things in the first place.
3. Start telling me how desperate you are and that you wake up with an erection followed by an unsolicited Dick pic… yes this happened
4. Tell me how I desperately need a younger hung man in my life to break me in half followed by yet another unsolicited Dick pic
5. Begin the conversation with how smoking hot I am, can’t get on any other topic of conversation and this particular one I speak of was a fireman. His next angle was to bring up how my red hair was on fire and he needed to bring his “hose to help” me. Although altruistic, conversation is tired and old🙄
6. Tell me about your sex drive or for you to know about mine 5 seconds into a conversation. I haven’t even met you in person. I don’t even know if your breath stinks much less if you really look like your pictures. So there is no need in this discussion.
7. Assume that I am on any dating site because I am desperate for sex, love, attention, compliments, or someone to complete me.<<<<
.. that all being said. I'm not going to the extreme to say all men are pigs. But I think the electronics of it is what throws the whole equation off. It makes the whole scenario impersonal. I also have no idea how other women behave on these things either, I can only speak for myself. Maybe this is what these men are used to. Maybe this lewd conduct gets them dates or sexual encounters. I don't really know. But I have lost all faith in the whole process at this point.
I know I can't be the only one in the world who has been through this or that thinks it is absolutely absurd. I know I'm not that much of a prude to think that we could just have a damn conversation and then meeting for fucking coffee. Was that too much of an expectation to have? Maybe so.
I do know this, I won't settle for less than my worth. And it is my job to know that not theirs. It is also my job to ask for the respect that I should be given as a person and if it's not happening then there are safeguards on these things like unmatching, blocking and reporting. But whatever the case may be, what I truly know now is that at the end of the day, God is still in charge of my future. If He sees fit I am to remain complete by myself, then so be it. It is still a pretty good place to be. If not then when that time comes… I don't think a dick pic will be my sign that He is the one.